Monday, May 16, 2005
Hypocrisy
So, I've been fully single for quite a while now. It's really great. I enjoy being able to relax and not worry about relationships. I'm also glad that I don't have to get anxious waiting to get together with my fuck-buddy or get my hopes up due to false promises.
People can be very devious. They tend to adapt their personalities to how the situation is in order to get whatever results they desire. Of course I've been guilty of this too on occasion, but I do have a specific person in mind. We were fucking off and on for about a year. After we finally split up a couple months ago, I haven't really heard much from the person. Now, I checked their blog and see they've made some very negative references of me in the mean time.
Apparently this person still thinks about me a lot and has a lot of negativity built up for whatever reason. I've been moving on with my life and am genuinely bothered by the fact they're harboring these negative feelings towards me.
I honestly can't say I'm surprised though. I was very unappreciated throughout our friendship. I was one of the few co-workers she didn't let fuck her at work. And yes, that did bother me a little, but I couldn't really complain . . , too much. So, it was always my place and at her leisure when I down get my rocks off.
I did get a glimpse of how she felt about me and my talents while we were still hanging out. I'm bad at picking up on these subtle sort of hints, so the fact that I could read them made it even more obvious how under valued I was. The deal she was getting was so sweet that most women would have jumped on it without hesitation.
It was definitely good to see how she felt about me before I let her go. I have no doubt I am the best she's done or ever will do for a lover (In her current form anyway, people tend to change with time and tide, so I have no idea about the person she was before I met her).
Contrary to what she may claim now, I'm confident that my influence on her life and countless others, past and present, has been a strong positive force. I base these feelings on the feedback I receive and that is why I'm so confident. I'd say getting a BS:NET degree, having a house, and a fairly active social life is not something to disregard as worthless.
Anyway, I'm very appreciated by my friends and co-workers. I'm having a very exciting life and as per my policy, will continue to march forward in life. So, if those I leave behind can't keep up, I can't be held accountable for them getting lost in the wilderness of the mundane.
At any rate, my point is life is too short to dwell on all the negative aspects. If you have a problem, then try to figure out how to solve it. If you can't, I may try to help, but in any case, I refuse to get drug down into anyone's quagmire of hostile or negative behaviors.
People can be very devious. They tend to adapt their personalities to how the situation is in order to get whatever results they desire. Of course I've been guilty of this too on occasion, but I do have a specific person in mind. We were fucking off and on for about a year. After we finally split up a couple months ago, I haven't really heard much from the person. Now, I checked their blog and see they've made some very negative references of me in the mean time.
Apparently this person still thinks about me a lot and has a lot of negativity built up for whatever reason. I've been moving on with my life and am genuinely bothered by the fact they're harboring these negative feelings towards me.
I honestly can't say I'm surprised though. I was very unappreciated throughout our friendship. I was one of the few co-workers she didn't let fuck her at work. And yes, that did bother me a little, but I couldn't really complain . . , too much. So, it was always my place and at her leisure when I down get my rocks off.
I did get a glimpse of how she felt about me and my talents while we were still hanging out. I'm bad at picking up on these subtle sort of hints, so the fact that I could read them made it even more obvious how under valued I was. The deal she was getting was so sweet that most women would have jumped on it without hesitation.
It was definitely good to see how she felt about me before I let her go. I have no doubt I am the best she's done or ever will do for a lover (In her current form anyway, people tend to change with time and tide, so I have no idea about the person she was before I met her).
Contrary to what she may claim now, I'm confident that my influence on her life and countless others, past and present, has been a strong positive force. I base these feelings on the feedback I receive and that is why I'm so confident. I'd say getting a BS:NET degree, having a house, and a fairly active social life is not something to disregard as worthless.
Anyway, I'm very appreciated by my friends and co-workers. I'm having a very exciting life and as per my policy, will continue to march forward in life. So, if those I leave behind can't keep up, I can't be held accountable for them getting lost in the wilderness of the mundane.
At any rate, my point is life is too short to dwell on all the negative aspects. If you have a problem, then try to figure out how to solve it. If you can't, I may try to help, but in any case, I refuse to get drug down into anyone's quagmire of hostile or negative behaviors.
Last Night I went to the usual spot sang a little karaoke, drank a couple beers and called it a night. I'm also involved in this really cool online play by email game called medieval diplomacy II and that's been very entertaining. Tonight I met with friends for our weekly games. Now that I mention that, it reminds me of a time I blew them off to be stood up by that same female buddy. Anyway, like I say I've moved on and am trying to heal and grow stronger as a man.
So,
may peace be with you all.
